drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
