I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
