Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
