Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
