is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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