i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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