No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
