I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
