That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
