I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
