you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize