I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Panties = found
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
