I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
