Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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