haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
barbara walters just said penis...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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