What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
