i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You are a genius and a whore.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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