omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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