Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
