just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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