the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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