just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize