The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
