so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
