I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
