Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
