i don't like sucking hair
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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