oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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