That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I could make wine with my vomit
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
