Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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