She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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