We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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