So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
