I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Every concussion has its silver lining
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
