Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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