He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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