no. you can't hotbox the world.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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