I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize