IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
