i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
