Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
