Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
