You work out of a Hotel?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
