belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sorry about my life...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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