But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
