i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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