Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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