I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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