So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize