it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
