and next time when you feel me up, do it right
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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