the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
