After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
