For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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