Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize