So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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