it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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