even my farts smell like vagina
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
