I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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