So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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