I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
