careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
