First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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