I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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