did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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