What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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